Slumlord Billionaire

In the wee hours of Friday, April 25, a recording surfaced of as of now L.A Clippers owner and formerly NAACP award recipient Donald Sterling.The voicemail is allegedly Sterling making racist remarks linked to a photo that Sterling’s not wife girlfriend, V. Stiviano, (Sterling’s living like 2Chainz) posted on Instagram of herself and Magic Johnson.  I guess this means no more cursing at his players, especially the black ones.

As with all matters involving racism in today’s world nearly every news network and person on social media has voiced their opinion. What I’m really waiting on though is that initial inevitable conversation between Sterling and members of the Clippers roster. He better get ready for the Riley Cooper treatment (from DeSean Jackson, not the Eagles organization).  I’ve decided to write a brief screenplay depicting what I think the situation will be like. I call it The Conversation.




Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, Matt Barnes, and Donald Sterling are all in the locker room after a 2014-2015 regular season win while the rest of the team has left. All three players are at their respective lockers



(lifting arms) Chris, Blake, Matt, great win out there tonight guys! It feels really good to be back with the team.



(staring at locker) Thanks…



It don’t feel good having you back! I guess you forgot that only J.J and Hedo are the only non-black players. Or did you forget about me too?



Guys I’m really–



(sitting on ledge of locker; voice cracking, nearly crying) Did you think I was white when you signed me?! I’m black too!



If you just let me ex–



Is it still okay if I bring Chris Jr. to the games? Maybe him and I should just make commercials and appearances privately now.


(crying) I will too!


I said I was sor-


Glad I stopped sticking up for you niggas


Doc Rivers enters the locker room


Hey Doc! Great Win!


Doc, Chris, Blake and Matt all silently stare at Donald.



I think it’s time for me to go

Sterling exits sheepishly




With that soon to be BAFTA winning screenplay now released for the world to witness, I present highlights from this entire saga.


1. Rapper’s Delight

At a pace similar to when ‘Control’ was released or just your average series of DJ Vlad “Hip-Hop Reacts” videos, many artists are chiming in with their opinions on the matter. The initial trailblazer was perennial west coast representer Snoop Dogg (Lion?). The most standalone statement being when he called Sterling a “racist piece of [feces]”. Lil Wayne also threw his hat into the ring and I’m sure more rappers will be soon to follow.


2. Donald Sterling’s Wife?

In what looks to be a marriage on the rocks, Donald Sterling’s still for now wife, Shelly Sterling, attended game four of the Clippers-Warriors series with her husband nowhere to be found. From the moment the first cutaway to her happened during that game, she’s been on a self-defense spree since. She was very quick to inform people that she herself is not racist. Which is laughable considering that she was quite helpful in her husband’s housing discrimination playing dress-up as a government employee. She also noted that her family’s priority is the Clippers organization. Yeah…


3. Clip-Show

I’m not just talking about the protest with the inside-out warm ups. That was a nice gesture, but I really expected more. Especially considering that the team’s captain is also the head of the players union. Chris Paul has stated that the players union will do something, but has not really stated his thoughts on the matter. It was nice to hear from Doc Rivers (and family), though he did not completely appease me either. When asked whether he thought that Sterling should be removed from the team he simply walked away. I just don’t understand what the Clippers players have to lose by commenting on this situation…other than another playoff game.

Other highlights include Keith Olbermann calling on Clippers players to sit, every retired NBA player in the media commenting on the matter (including the aforementioned Magic Johnson), and a release of an extended version of the tape in question. Oh, and the NAACP rescinding their LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT award for Sterling.  I’m sure there will be more to come as everyone contributes their two cents to the discussion.

To be completely honest, basketball fans shouldn’t be surprised about these statements coming from Sterling. Eight years ago ESPN’s Bomani Jones wrote a piece talking about the atrocities Sterling committed with housing discrimination against minorities. Hell, a video Nick Cannon’s from interview on Dan LeBatard is Highly Questionable posted in July 2013 on YouTube is titled “Does Nick Cannon like the Clippers’ racist owner Donald Sterling?”. Dan Le Batard said in this interview “he’s not good with black people”. I think that pretty much sums it up.


*Donald Sterling has since been fined $2.5 million and banned for life from the NBA



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