E’Twaun Moore Is an Honorary New Orleanian

Pau doing what NOLA wants to do to E'Twaun right now.

Pau hugging E’Twaun on behalf of NOLA.

Bruh. I KNOW you saw the Bulls-Thunder game tonight. If you didn’t, I pity you and your pisspoor value system. Chicago and OKC played a barnburner tonight, with the Bulls prevailing in a shocking, come-from-behind 108-105 victory. The Bulls ran a gorgeous inbounds play down one, Pau sent a touch pass to E’Twaun Moore, and Moore did this:

Regardless of one’s rooting interests, this game was a joy to watch. However, let’s say you were rooting for one of these teams to lose to benefit your own team’s playoff positioning, and the team you wanted to lose was the Thunder. Hey, now you’re mainlining elation!

The Bulls’ win puts the Pelicans only a half-game back of the Thunder for the final spot in the West, with a home game against the Celtics on Friday looming. If the Pels win, they are leasing out the eighth spot again, as they own the tiebreaker over Russell and his ragtag gang. We as a city have to pay our eternal gratitude to E’Twaun for what he did for us last night. He came through when the city needed him most. When our own patron saint of destruction, Altron, was removed from the proceedings for a night, THE ANGEL E’TWAUN WAS THERE FOR US. When we needed a miracle, Moore was handed a shiv from Pau (<3<3<3 4ever Pau) and he stuck that shiv right in Oklahoma City’s cornea. It was a sight to see.

We have to at least make E’Twaun Moore an honorary New Orleanian. Hell, make some day in the middle of June E’Twaun Moore Day. We’re always looking for new reasons to party, and this shot is as good a reason as any. He’s a true patriot for Louisiana, unlike some OTHER PEOPLE on that court tonight. Did anybody else see D.J. Augustin out there? Look, I know he’s a professional and it’s generally good to see someone from NOLA doing well, but come on, dog. D.J. Aug, formerly of Brother Martin, went HAM for the Thunder in the fourth quarter. In the first four-and-a-half minutes that motherfucker scored ten points! His last three gave the Thunder a 94-85 lead with 7:33 to go. Fortunately, Augustin didn’t score again after that, and E’TWAUN MOORE MOST DEFINITELY DID SCORE AGAIN AFTER THAT.

After New Orleans Lieutenant Governor E’Twaun Moore’s shot last night, the Pelicans have a simple mission: seize the opportunity. The Thunder have presented an opening, and the Pelicans must capitalize on it. Again: a win tonight against the Celtics equals a move on up to the east side eighth seed. The Pelicans have faced doubts all year about being too young, not talented enough or not well-coached enough. Every playoff conversation on TV seems to be about not whether the Thunder make it to the postseason, but what seed they’ll end up as. The Pels want to leave them figuring out how the Thunder can get in from the 9-spot.


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