Shady’s Five Victims, Week 2



It’s that time of the week where we post GIFs of LeSean McCoy breaking the opposition’s ankles. He’s blessed us again with quite a few nice moves. I may even have to go try them on some people over the weekend. Not in an actual football game or anything, but just as I’m walking past them. Like that jerk who dribbles a basketball in a grocery store and does moves around people while his dumb friend in Hollister sweatpants makes Instagram videos of it. Fuck those guys. Anyways, onto the moves.

1. Victim: Mike Adams


Not only a quick move, but also a clutch move! On 3rd and 2, the Eagles run inside zone to the left and leave Colts safety Mike Adams unblocked on the backside. Shady decides to cut it back, setting himself up for a date with Mr. Adams. Look at Mike. He really thinks he’s about to make a big stop there and shut this drive down. WRONG. And then Shady fights through contact to pick up the rest of the required two yards. Solid start.

2. Victim(s): D’Qwell Jackson and LaRon Landry


Here we have Shady taking an outside toss to the left. I like this play because it gets Jason Peters and Jason Kelce, currently the Eagles’ best two linemen, out in front of Shady to block. They do an all right job, but then LeSean gets a bit more work done. Look at those cutbacks, though. Jackson dives and ends up belly flopping onto turf. Landry gets caught slippin’. That’s too bad, LaRon. It’s not like you were on national television or anything.

3. Victim(s): D’Qwell Jackson and Mike Adams


Inside zone left. Simple. Look how Shady presses the A-gap to Jason Kelce’s right side, forcing Jackson to jump inside. That only makes Dennis Kelly’s life so much easier, as he can easily seal off the Colts’ linebacker after Shady’s move. And then LeSean gets to the second level and almost makes two converging DBs miss. I’ll include Mike Adams as a victim again because he really only ended up diving into Darius Butler. “But Karl,” you say, “LeSean got tackled by Butler on that move!” Yeah, well, we already agreed to call this article “Shady’s FIVE Victims” for the whole year. The guy only had 79 rushing yards on the night, we gotta reach sometimes. Making GIFs takes up a lot of time, man. You wanna fucking take over and do it? No? Okay, then I’ll cheat here and add a questionable victim.

4. Victim: D’QWELL.


Hat trick! Oh, D’Qwell Jackson, I applaud your effort. Without your can-do attitude we wouldn’t have our first victim hat trick of the year. Yo, he actually made a solid move there for a second. Jackson jumped inside and ran past Todd Herremans, right into the A-gap. Unfortunately, he came in a little too hot there. LeSean made him pay with a jump cut to the outside, and Jackson ends up playing Twister at Lucas Oil Stadium. Also, Jackson’s daring attempt combined with Bjorn Werner’s failure to set the edge left the outside open, so thanks for that, D’Qwell. At least you’re playing the Jaguars this Sunday. I don’t think Toby Gerhart has quite the same ability as LeSean McCoy.

5. Victim: LaRon Landry


Bruh. Bruh. This was a draw play on 3rd and 15. The Eagles were just trying to make Cody Parkey’s upcoming field goal easier. Turns out Shady had other devices. He picked up 21 yards and the first down. Poor Chuck Pagano. Seems like a really good dude. I bet he was ready to leg drop a koala after this play. Look at this shit:


The yellow box is McCoy. He’s still 10 yards away from the first. He has no business moving the chains on this play. Alas, he makes a great cut and leaves LaRon reaching to the ground for balance once more. Funny fact about my view on LaRon Landry. He’s from near where I grew up, and it’s always good to see the River Parishes showing out. He then went on to be awesome at LSU, so I should love him even more irrationally. But then he was drafted by Washington and he started talking shit to my former sweet prince DeSean Jackson, SPECIFICALLY ABOUT DESEAN SUFFERING A CONCUSSION. I think Mr. Jackson responded appropriately. So, yeah, even though he’s a local kid and did dope stuff for Louisiana football, every time I see LaRon I just think, “What a fucker.” So Shady making him slip twice in this game was tons of fun.



By now we’ve all seen the highlights from Tiny Darren Sproles’s insane night in Indianapolis. He tore them up. Just check out this little one-two he puts on Mike Adams right there. Oh yeah, he definitely scored on this play after toughing through about three tackles. Darren Sproles is wonderful.

And there you have it. Another solid week of LeSean McCoy making defenders question the decisions that led them to the point in life where they end up getting shook. Up next for the Eagles: Washington! LeSean had two pretty dope games against them last year. Wait, who’s playing safety for them? Brandon Meriwether and Ryan Clark? Hopefully our jump-cutting hero can make them look like…Brandon Meriwether and Ryan Clark. Fingers crossed.


One thought on “Shady’s Five Victims, Week 2

  1. Pingback: When the Eagles were Dicks to Washington Players Last Year | Suits and 40s

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